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Wrong Storeroom Today

By Nzube Nlebedim

As sure as I know say NEPA go take light when rain start, I sure say Oga Dayo’s presence go bring money into my pocket the day he come street. I have learn to calculate the time of his arrival and I find out that he comes about twice a week, from early in the morning till about 12pm. And so I sit at home in the dirty sofa that bedbug have chop finish as I wait for the day Oga Dayo go come. When he come, that Oga Dayo, it is stampede. The available agberos step on the heads of fellow available agberos so Oga Dayo go choose them for the day’s work. Oga Dayo na smart man. He will look on top of our head as if he is selecting ripe, sweet agbalumo from the bowl in the stalls in Abiodun market. Oga Dayo, his eyes stronging like somebody that we have offend, will select those he want. Normally, he pick the ones wey active pass, and by active, I mean the ones wey fit march the heads of other available worker to reach him. Yes, Oga Dayo watch those who step more eagerly. He cannot be giving his work that day to someone that cannot fight to get his work.

“You,” he will always point at me. “You go work today.” And I will find my way to where I will start my work for the day. I did not know Oga Dayo from Adam, but he always select me to work every time I meet am when he come street. And he see the way I push everybody to reach him. And so I think he like me well to give me work. Oga Dayo blood always be hotting like someone that they use hot water and baff. God punish the worker that did not come with his headgear or work shoe. Oga Dayo will shaparly pursue them back and put somebody else. They will beg and beg and beg, but Oga Dayo no go gree. 

“Oga Dayo, make I go back house bring my headgear.”

“Thunder fire you there,” Oga Dayo will always talk.

The way Oga Dayo say this, we already feel like the thunder will really strike the person even if rain no show like say it will fall. We believe Oga Dayo. Wosai! Who in Lagos no go believe the man that give am chop money? Na foolish man go disobey or insult Oga Dayo. If Oga Dayo tell you goat horn go chuk out from the middle of your head, we believe am. If Oga Dayo tell you you don’t have sense, you don’t have it at all. If Oga Dayo say rain go fall now now even when sun is shining like torch, we know say Oga no dey lie.

I stand at the back and wait for Oga Dayo to finish choosing his workers for today. Small small they come until we reach like twelve with our headgear ready for work for today. I smell Aunty Blessing stew for where she dey sell for her small kiosk beside me. She use iron net cover her pots of stew with plenty brokoto inside, rice, spaghetti, beans and orange moi moi. The stew smell is entering my nose and eyes like saints are entering heaven. It look like she even put iru inside today own. Jesus! But I cannot buy her food now, and so I focus on what we go do today. I tell myself that later when Oga Dayo pay us, I go buy food for myself and Sisi my pikin that is at home playing with her balloon. As I rush from the house that morning, I give her my last 50 naira to use and buy biscuit before I come back from work. She look me with the eyes we use and look shit, and she face her balloon again, putting the opening inside her mouth and blowing it like I did not say anything.

“Na the money be this,” I tell the pikin. I no fit blame her. She did not see food to eat last night before we sleep. But me sef, I chop? Well, na man wahala be that! Na man work to provide and starve at the same time. 

“When you finish, buy Coaster chop. I dey come.”

“Oga Dayo don come?” she ask me. I no get time to answer am. I don enter road be that. 

When Oga Dayo pay us this morning, I go buy rice, beans and beef for myself and Sisi. I go order Aunty Blessing to put plenty fisi for the food, and me and Sisi go chop life small. I dey imagine the food as I dey chop am and my mouth is already begin to water like tap that they open small.

“Una dey ready for work today?” Oga Dayo appear from nowhere just as I wan chop my imaginary beef with plenty stew for body. If you no dey used to Oga Dayo and you see him the first time, you no go see him face but him tummy. Him tummy is so big that many of us feel that he used to eat a drum of eba every day. Him leg now come small that you will wonder how he is able to walk with that load on him tummy. Him head is as round as football and shiny too like he used too much Vaseline on it. Beside Oga Dayo na the koko, the deal, the reason we dey here, the container. One young boy don gum body on the big container to wait when Oga Dayo go order make him open am. When him open am, Oga Dayo go use him phone snap the open container, maybe for proof that all is complete when him open am, and then we go start work to carry all the package enter storeroom. We go carry till the container empty. After work we go line up in one straight line like ruler and Oga Dayo go give us our money, sometimes 5k, sometimes 4k. But he will not give less than 4k to us for work.

I stand up well, to show oga Dayo that I am ready for work today. The last time that Oga Dayo come was last two weeks, and I have missed him. Or na the money I miss? Anywho, the money and the man wey dey bring the money na the same. You miss one, you miss the other. I strong my hand on my headgear and prepare my hand for work. 

“If I catch anybody tiff any of the package ehn, I go cut him preek before I call police for am. Una remember wetin happen to Moruf.”

I remember Moruf, stupid boy. As he is carrying the package, he use style throw one for inside bush. I seen when him do am, but I no know say Oga Dayo have also seen him. Na me and some of the boys stop Oga Dayo make him no use knife (only God know where him find am) to cut Moruf hand comot. Oga Dayo eye red that day as him dey tie Moruf hand and leg together. Him come use one hand carry Moruf. Everybody shock. How one man go use one hand carry Moruf? Like hunter that is carrying his prize, Oga Dayo carry Moruf and lock him inside one of the storeroom till police come carry am go station. Maybe na wetin make Oga Dayo no use our street storeroom again till today because we no see am again until this morning.

“I go cut him preek give am chop. Una hear?” him repeat in case we no hear am the first time, for emphasizing.

“Yessir,” I shout, so that my voice go loud pass.

For my head, I start calculation for wetin the money go do for me. Apart from the food for today, I plan to buy Sisi the leggings that she show me to buy for her. The thing cost 500 and I know that it will kill me to buy it, but I look her eyes as she beg me for the leggings that day and she remind me of her dead mama and I decide to buy it for her when Oga Dayo come next. This evening, we will go and buy it and I will watch her laugh and smile, laugh and smile, and I will know I have done good to her and my conscience. Wetin be man if him no fit provide?

One man that we have not seen before come to where we are, look us with strong eyes and then face Oga Dayo, his face now shining with smile like torch. He whisper something inside Oga Dayo ear. The thing that the man say vex Oga Dayo small because his face now strong like fufu that they leave inside fridge for long. He put his phone inside his pocket and come closer to us. Like say him mind just change, Oga Dayo order the driver back into the truck, and before I know wetin dey happen, Oga Dayo rush like someone is pursuing him back to the front. I no hear the other workers grumble because my mind no dey here again. Na only Oga Dayo voice I hear far far back in my mind as he is shouting to everybody else.

“You people should go back. Wrong storeroom today!”

Wrong storeroom! One more failure day for Lagos.


Nzube Nlebedim is a Nigerian writer, essayist, critic, editor and publisher. He serves as the editor-in-chief of The Shallow Tales Review literary magazine.

- All rights to this story remain with the author. Please do not repost or reproduce this material without permission.

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